Dysphoria

Everyday I wake in panic,
Heartbeat racing like manic.
Since you are so far away.
So metallic, inorganic.

Everyday exactly the same.
I fear this darkness I’ll never tame.
I’ve got worldly love and fame,
Who am I here to complain?

But it matters not today
For the shadow I became.
Call me what you will, my friend.
But I shall not condescend.

This I cannot apprehend.
Everyday has the same trend.
You will never read these words,
Ashes rise like a flock of birds.

In the eye of a hurricane,
The calm air seems mundane.
I am here to entertain.
Blind leading the insane.

How to deal with this pain?
Heartbeat I cannot contain.
Everyday, a cloudy rain.
Everyday, another grain.

Empty world,
Here stands unfurled.
Flailing like a wingless bird.
Filled with madness, so absurd.

Everyday I say goodbye,
Everyday I dreams deny.
And to you I here reply,
You are not alone.

I repeat the same routine.
Wake up somewhere in between,
Staring at the flashing screen.
Turn the page and change the scene.

Everyday for you I lust,
But I do not have your trust.
Everyday- the same routine.
Must you feel so numb?

Madness passing by, unseen.
The clock strikes again, thirteen.
All these actions so obscene.
What have I become?

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What it is:
Photoshop CS + my poem
Hardware used: Wacom Intuos 6x8 tablet
Real size: 11000x5984 pixels or 36x19 inches