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CAPTAIN: THE LETTER

Sun Jan 15, 2012, 10:28 PM



DEAD GIANT PYLON/CAT OVERLORDS,

I WAS MOST PERTURBED/DISTURBED/ANNOYED/JAXTAPOSED TO DISCOVER THAT OUR LOVELY UNIVERSE IS SHRINKING!

AS A CONSTITUENT OF THE UNIVERSE AND HIGHLY RESPECTABLE REPRESENTATIVE OF PLANET EARTH AND KING OF THE NATION OF CAPTANIA, I FIND THIS UNSUSTAINABLE DEVELOPMENT UNNACEPTABLE AND MUST INSIST THAT YOU TAKE ACTION TO RETURN THE UNIVERSE TO ITS RIGHTFUL SIZE OR AT LEAST PREVENT ANY FURTHER REDUCTIONS.

I KNOW, YOU THINK IT'S OKAY, THE UNIVERSE IS INFINITE, AND YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST IGNORE THIS ISSUE IN HOPES THAT IT WILL GO AWAY.

HOWEVER, ACCORDING TO MY CALCULATIONS, THE END OF THE UNIVERSE IS INEVITABLE AND WE HAVE ONLY 60 CYCLES LEFT AT BEST, MAYBE 80 UNTIL OUR UNIVERSE CEASES TO EXIST ENTIRELY, IT'S ENERGY PERMANENTLY SHIFTING INTO ANOTHER STATE OF EXISTENCE.

OH BEHALF OF THE PEOPLES OF CAPTANIA (POPULATION: 4) I APPEAL TO YOUR HYPER-GALACTIC-MIND TO CONSIDER MY CASE AND HAVE IT REVIEWED BEFORE THE END OF THE NEXT SOLAR CYCLE.

IF MY DEMANDS ARE NOT PROMPTLY MET, I MIGHT AS WELL DECLARE WAR ON THE CURRENT MORALITY OF THE UNIVERSE AND BELIEVE ME YOU DO NOT WISH TO CROSS CAPTANIA AND CONDUCT A DANCE WITH THE LIKES OF ME IN THE HIGHEST COURT OF THE UNIVERSE COMPENDIUM.


SINCERELY YOURS,
EMISSARY OF EARTH, ZEE CAPTEIN


P.S
AFTER EATING, DO AMPHIBIANS HAVE TO WAIT ONE HOUR BEFORE GETTING OUT OF THE WATER?

Add a Comment:
 
:iconthedarkestraven1608:
TheDarkestRaven1608 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
OMG THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :DDDDDDDDD :iconhyperglompplz:
Reply
:iconnorimori:
NoriMori Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
I love the post-script. That just MADE the entry. XD
Reply
:iconlaniusrios:
LaniusRios Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Can I be your minion and live in Captania with you? :)
Reply
:iconibrainwashedyou:
IBrainWashedYou Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Student General Artist
of course silly
Reply
:iconsilverninjawolf:
SilverNinjaWolf Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well said, Cap'n :salute:
Reply
:iconjindawg:
JiNdAwG Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012
YOU HAVE THEM SHAKING IN THEIR PANTS, NOW, CAPITAIN!
Reply
:icondevilpengui:
devilpengui Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012
All hail Captain.
Reply
:iconebonlake:
Ebonlake Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012
I like dancing! :D
You're on Captain!
Reply
:iconwingriffin:
WinGriffin Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012
Wait... Population 4? Who's the fourth? :O
Reply
:iconcorva2crow:
Corva2Crow Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Student General Artist
Captain, Snippy, Pilot, and Engie, I think...
Reply
:iconwingriffin:
WinGriffin Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012
Oh yeah, I completely forgot about Engie. Wonder when he'll show up....
Reply
:iconcorva2crow:
Corva2Crow Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2012  Student General Artist
Same here... I want his/her jacket o3o XD
Reply
:iconrollinlol95:
Rollinlol95 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
oooh!Captain!You silly captain XD
Reply
:iconthefinalfrontier1701:
That P.S........ xD that's hilarious.
Reply
:iconcatflavored:
catflavored Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Student General Artist
XD
Reply
:iconarchie621:
Archie621 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Student General Artist
Dance battle? indeed it sounds fun...you think the Captein knows Capoeira?
Reply
:iconblacksnowwonderland:
BlackSnowWonderland Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ah, that P.S just killed me! :XD:
Reply
:icondyume-kun:
dyume-kun Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012
(oh captain)> :iconotlplz:
Reply
:iconbored-beyond-belief:
bored-beyond-belief Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
The P.S. at the end just sealed the deal :XD:
Reply
:iconhowprecious:
HowPrecious Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, you. :iconohyouplz:
Reply
:iconadorkablexbabyxwhale:
adorkableXbabyXwhale Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh captain :icongerardfacepalmplz:
Reply
:iconeccentricallyalive:
EccentricallyAlive Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Cat Overlords? THIS IS AMAZING.

That PS is really amazing as well, by the way. Yay for Zee Captein!!!
Reply
:iconkat-suri:
Kat-suri Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012
Woah...I never thought of that.
Reply
:icond4rkst0rm99:
D4RKST0RM99 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm sure this problem can easily be solved by the Captain simply using a car jack or balloon and a nuclear bomb to push the universe back into its original bloated size, problem solved long before lunchtime:D
Reply
:icongendori:
Gendori Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012
Zee captain is smarter then we actually think! We have yet to realise that however... Snippy!
Reply
:iconrizlablack:
Rizlablack Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012
P.S
AFTER EATING, DO AMPHIBIANS HAVE TO WAIT ONE HOUR BEFORE GETTING OUT OF THE WATER?

--> epic!
Reply
:iconbonabopn:
Bonabopn Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012
I only just noticed the letter starts with "DEAD", not "DEAR" as i first read. :o
Reply
:iconmnjooschji:
Mnjooschji Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Those Pylons always makes trouble...
Reply
:iconchrispy92:
Chrispy92 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Student Writer
I want to see this ...man... in a courtroom.
Reply
:iconsirferrick:
SirFerrick Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Population 4? He includes Engineer in this?
Reply
:iconalexiuss:
alexiuss Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012
YES
Reply
:iconsirferrick:
SirFerrick Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Aha.

Just wondering, why arn't the Lemonade Cult included as humans in this? I mean, a couple of times they've commented on how they'res no-one else alive (ecspecially Mr Snippy) and yet they are there.
Reply
:iconelfenfeuer33:
elfenfeuer33 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012
Good point!!
Reply
:iconsirferrick:
SirFerrick Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:D Cheers. It just seemed odd when Mr Snippy was getting all overdramatic about that phone call..... Yes, i have been contemplating this for a while...
Reply
:icongrey-walker:
Grey-Walker Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
They must not only wait an hour, Captain, but they must also sunbathe!
Reply
:iconeatfriedrice:
eatfriedrice Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012
together, we shall make that universe our bitch.
Reply
:iconsablegear:
SableGear Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I want to dance with Captain.... XD
Reply
:iconkusugari:
Kusugari Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I will do as you say, Mein Captein! *salutes* What do you propose we do? What are your demands, oh great leader?
Reply
:iconpunkxforestxsprite:
punkxforestxsprite Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Student Photographer
Oh I love the little letters!
Reply
:iconsilvermononoke:
SilverMononoke Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Hobbyist
I want to live in Captainia~
Reply
:iconferigyerek:
ferigyerek Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Student General Artist
MR CAPTEIN, SIE SIND STILL AMAZING!
Reply
:icon30stmluver:
30stmLUVER Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
WHAT ARE YOUR DEMAMDS CAPTIAN.
Reply
:iconcalligraphyfirefly:
CalligraphyFirefly Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I am afraid I'll have to decline, Captain. I think the universe is far too big and needs a good shrinking.
Reply
:iconfrtselplupje:
frtselplupje Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:iconohnoseplz:
Reply
:iconkokoriyu:
kokoriyu Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Student General Artist
I would definitely not want to cross Zee Captain on an issue like this. Yikes. D:
Reply
:iconjackyjinx:
JackyJinx Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
THIS made my day
Reply
:icontheoracledragon:
TheOracleDragon Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Dear Zee Captain,

We here humbly enjoy watching you and your comrades, we bless each of you to continue to enlighten out hearts, souls and minds with you amazing adventures. For you, good sir, are a man of pure poetry while writing an amazing comedy.

With our humble watching, we ask that you continue to do what makes us enjoy you company, having more grand adventures, and if all else fails, use the cup of power!

Sincerely,
The Watchers

P.S.
We believe they they possibly do so to not get land cramps.

P.S.S.
Where do you get your coffee?
Reply
:iconaquiose:
Aquiose Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Not trying to be rude or anything, but when I read your post statuses, I started to think of something. Everyone always writes "P.S.S." for the second post status, which would be post status status. Shouldn't it be "P.P.S.S."? Post post status status, because it's the post status after the post status? o.O You have surely given me something to ponder here...
Reply
:icontheoracledragon:
TheOracleDragon Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I might have messed that up but that's what I was taught in school, but looking around I think it should be P.P.S. and not P.S.S. ^^; [link] this is where I found out I messed up.
Reply
:icongilotyna815:
gilotyna815 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I think it should be P.P.S. That's the way I was taught in school.
I was also taught that P.S. stands for "post scriptum". Makes more sense that "post status".
Reply
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