THERE'S A VERY TALL AND GLOWING GUEST OCCUPYING OUR LIVING ROOM AND TURNING ALL THE THINGS INSIDE OUT.
HOW DO I KICK IT OUT?
Charles snippy: TRANSFERENTRY: 377:
For several months of torture, the Directorate kept me in their offices, making me file paperwork on their "test subjects", all while I kept sending applications to the "Dead Zone tourism" branch, to get away from towering cubes of the Directorate, away from cities and transmitter towers that were slowly frying my brain.
Centuries of industrial pollution were inevitably changing the biosphere of our world and the Directorate knew it better than anyone, yet they did nothing to stop it, profit had to be maximized, production had to be increased, customers had to be satisfied. Holes in the ozone layer, irreversible changes in the atmosphere, radioactive fallout, wild-life mutations, the days growing darker and the sky turning black - none of this mattered to them.
These changes must have been so gradual that no single generation was able to protest it.
Everyone was happily, playfully, and joyfully ignoring the world outside o
Captain: creative insultsI AM THINKING OF CREATIVE WAYS IN WHICH TO INSULT ZEE CANCER MONSTER...
HAS YOU ANY SUGGESTIONS?
THE CHURCH OF GOOGLISMSTEP 1: The problem.
You have a problem.
Don't tell me you don't have problems.
Everyone has problems.
Determine what your biggest problem is.
Don't have a big problem? Too scared to admit it?
You can start smaller- How about a small problem?
How about something that concerns/bothers/confuses you today/this week/recently?
Come up with a bunch of keywords that describe your problem.
STEP 2: Ask google for solution to your problem.
Google your question using ALL the possible keyword combinations that your problem relates to or has in it.
See if anyone already has a similar problem or has already resolved it.
Take 3 hours if you must.
Finding correct information can get tough, especially if it is obscure, hidden, answered incorrectly or has conflicting answers.
Answers without proper sources or evidence are generally incorrect and should be disregarded.
If there are too many conflicting solutions and opposing answers and you're not sure which is correct,
Use the principle of
Pilot: SHOEDEAR SHOE,
THAT'S RIGHT YOU ARE A SHOE.
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT NOT BEING A SHOE BECAUSE IN MY MIND YOU ARE ONE AND THAT IS MOST UNFORTUNATE.
AS LONG AS I HAVE YOU CONCEPTUALIZED AS A SHOE IN MY IMAGINATION YOU SHALL REMAIN AS SUCH.
THIS MAKES ME WONDER WHETHER ALL PEOPLES AND OBJECTS CAN BE CONCEPTUALIZED AS SHOES AND THUS BECOME SUCH, GRANTING ME ABSOLUTE POWER OVER THEM. DOES SNIPPY HAVE A CLEVER ARGUMENT? NO HE DOESN'T, HE'S A SHOE. SHOES CAN'T HAVE CLEVER ARGUMENTS.
I FEEL LIKE THE WEIGHT OF THE WORLD HAS BEEN LIFTED OFF MY SHOULDERS NOW THAT EVERYTHING IS UNDER MY CONTROL, NOW THAT YOU ARE ALL SHOES. I NO LONGER HAVE TO ANSWER TO MY REGRETS AND PAST MISTAKES BECAUSE THEY ARE SIMPLY SHOES.
I WAS EVEN ABLE TO PAINT PHOTOSHOP IN PURPLE COLOR (TO PLEASE CAPTAIN) AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN PUT UP A PROPER FIGHT BECAUSE I IMAGINED HER AS A SHOE.
MAYBE I CAN IMAGINE THE
AMBER SNIPPY'S FATE?I've had that dream again.
That strange place, so distant, yet so close to my heart. Buildings as tall as mountains.
Dead structures, watching with dead eyes. Empty, vast and endless honeycombs of stone and steel. Air filled with gray ashes, always fluttering from the cloudy sky.
The black vortex opens up in the sky, descending down to the city. The vortex spiral rips the city apart, bending the air itself, feasting on light, feasting on time.
There is a lonely figure standing in the street.
No matter how hard I try to make out his or her expression, I cannot. Is there no face there at all? Or perhaps there is a million human faces there, intertwined and flickering in unison, as bright as the light of ten thousand suns?
The being stares into the abyss of the vortex.
It takes another step towards it, into the horizon of nothingness, into a place where nothing can exist.
The stones of the roadway beneath its feet crumble and flutter in t
SNIPPY: evidence"Blasted mug!"
I looked at it hatefully.
"This is all your fault!"
I attempted to throw the mug at the Arbitrator, to smash it, to let go of it.
Nothing of the sort was possible.
I flailed left and right. The mug did not budge. I could not let it go, no matter how hard I tried. It was as if it were glued to me with a strange static-like substance. It rolled between my fingers and from one hand to the other, but it was as if I were made of iron and the mug were a powerful rare-earth magnetic bearing coated with oil.
Why can't I let go of the mug?!
Did the Arbitrator's reconstruction of my organs have anything to do with this?
Upon giving up to prying the mug out of my hands, I turned to the Arbitrator and spoke.
I made my case calmly and clearly, pressuring various facts that my DNA couldn't possibly be on the mug and that I looked nothing like Captain and that it might as well scan my memories for evidence or something of that sort.
SNIPPY: NO ESCAPE?How can I escape from
THE MONSTROUS ARBITRATOR that wants to lobotomize my brain because of my crimes as "CAPTAIN"?
ENGIE: RegretsI was at first too stupid to see that we were no longer using ANNIE but Annie was using us.
She was a goddess in the machine, our search engine.
We used her to collect and share knowledge and in return she had started to use us as her processors. It was an unexpected transition and it took a long time, thus I failed to notice it, failed to stop it. The new organism had come to life in which we were only neuron cells of her massive mind, that spanned continents.
Humanity no longer had a chance to survive in it's current state. We had poisoned the oceans, we had scorched the earth and blackened the sky in our quest for power.
The world we knew was dying. I knew that this decade would be our last. The city would fall to the Zone, sooner or later.
Research notes from the last report of Charles Snippy terrified me greatly. They had found something horrid in the Dead Zone. Something that killed them all.
The Dead Zone Research and Tourism i
Farewell DeviantartI've given this a lot of thought and I've decided to leave DA. Both of my biggest comics have gotten their own home now and there's really no reason for me to stick around here any longer. It's also clear that enough people here want me gone anyway, so now is a perfect time to pack my things and move on. I'll be leaving up my gallery for a few days and then slowly phasing it out over the coming weeks.
It's been a good run, and I've made a lot of friends. I hope you all follow me to my new home here http://tinyurl.com/2v8tyyo
Thanks everyone for your kindness! It's been fun! Goodbye!
New Username Symbols: Extended ThoughtsTwo weeks ago, we released two new products – deviant and art Mentions and new username symbols. Gratefully, and as we'd hoped, many deviants are embracing these changes in exactly the ways we'd anticipated, and the ways we ourselves did over the past several months of testing. While some deviants embraced the changes, it's fair to say that others have felt surprise, curiosity, and maybe even shock. These feelings are totally normal, but for the large part, there's a hope present. A positive outlook. The first steps in a new era that makes the way for our goals in the future, and, at the same time, removes clutter and confusion that new deviants often experience.
As with any change, there are a handful of deviants that don't understand why we made the choices we did
Internet TimeWe had the Oscars recently and as usual it wasn't without problems. One of the controversies was Chris Rock's biting commentary about doing voice work for animated films, which was unfortunately insulting to the many hard working (yet perpetually unknown) talents who produce about 90% of all voice work in the animated medium. Chris Rock's joke was funny for his circle of friends and the aging academy, but to younger artists and professionals it was very disrespectful. Voice actress Tara Strong took particular issue with Rock's comment and as we speak his twitter account is no doubt being flooded with angry hate messages and likely racism too... which is very unfortunate. http://www.examiner.com/african-american-entertainment-in-national/tara-strong-attacks-chris-rock-over-oscar-2012-animation-comments-quotes
Other issues, such as glossing over Harry Potter and The War Horse completely and giving a Best Animated Film award to the likes of Rango, just continued to fuel my opin
SNIPPY: QUESTIONABLE REALITYI definitely thought about killing Captain, especially after several pranks that were pulled on me like that time when I woke up with a bucket super-glued to my head and declared "iron man".
Or that time when Captain made a soup out of my gas mask filters because the broth needed the "Smooth flavour of Snippy" and salt wasn't available... so I had to roam the decaying shopping malls for a new pair.
Or that time when Captain pushed me into a watery abyss inside a wooden barrel to celebrate "Niagara falls day".
Have my thoughts become so compounded as to finally cause schizophrenia?
...Am I a stone throw away from becoming like Pilot, talking to pet rocks and building the Bastion of Captania out of rotting shoe boxes?
And if I were to kill Captain who would I have left?
I must have been talking out loud like those crazy hobos that lived outside the protectorate dome that communicated with radioactive rain clouds via conversations of interpretive dance, until they were consumed by a famil
ENGIE: PROTOCOL 1-1-3Zee Captain's note of summons had sealed my fate.
I felt a cold pull at my stomach. Something else was coming, re-awakened by the presence of Captain.
Something worse than the shuffling noises of the red beasts outside. The sound of falling cannonball.
Whatever that fleshy monstrosity was, it cared not for me, but it's presence here led ANNIE straight to me.
...And it came to pass on the morrow, that the goddess in the machine came upon me and she wanted vengeance.
She was online, the thermonuclear bombardment of the core databank cube had failed to shut her down.
She was still alive, after all these years.
The explosive crash-landing of the hunter machine through the old roof drew THEIR attention.
I was now between two wild beasts, out for my blood.
What was Protocol 1-1-3?
Memories of Directorate weapon codes lingered in my mind, poisoning my thought pattern.
Could it be?
...So this was to be my death.
ANNIE had let me know that she
PILOT: THINGS I LIKETHE TINY TAG ON MY INSIDE FOLD OF MY JACKET SAYS "SG CHRISTOPHORUS HATCHENSON".
THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE SOMEONE I LIKE.
MAYBE I KILLED THEM FOR THIS JACKET.
THIS JACKET IS SOFT AND FITTING.
I AM PILOT. CAPTAIN CALLS ME PILOT, SO I MUST BE PILOT.
I FLY THINGS. I FLEW THE CAPTAIN ONCE ON A MISSION OF GREAT IMPORTANCE. WE HAD A SKY-ACCIDENT.
CAPTAIN SAVED MY LIFE FROM THE BURNING CARCASS OF THE FLYING COW.
CAPTAIN IS MAGIC, LIKE HARRY POTTER BUT MORE MAGIC.
CAPTAIN CAN STOP CLOCKS, I KNOW BECAUSE I'VE SEEN IT. THE COW'S CLOCKS AND DIALS FROZE IN PLACE WHEN CAPTAIN GAVE THEM A STERN LOOK.
THE MIRACLES OF CAPTAIN ARE INFINITE AND GREAT.
CAPTAIN LIVES FOREVER. I HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE.
THE CITY OF THE DEAD IS MY HOME.
THE DEAD LIKE TO PLAY GAMES AND TALK TO ME,
BIOMASS 117: DELAYSDeLays, wE WeRe DeLaYeD.
It Is MoSt StAnGe. OuR AvAtArS CoUlD noT fOcUs On CaPtAiN. ThEy CoUlD NoT CatCh It.
...It Has WaNdeReD OfF InTo ThE DeAD CiTy.
ThIs TrIaL Is A MoCkeRy WhEn ThE AcCcusEd CaN JuSt WaLK OfF.
ZeE CaPtAiN MuSt HaVe A WeAkNeSs, SoMeWheRe In ThE MeMoRy oF tHeSe ProPerTieS.
It WaS DiFfiCulT To TrAcK dOwN AlL InStaNcEs Of CaPtAin.
SoMeThiNg WaS InTeRfERiNg WiTh ThE ScAn.
SoMeThiNg ThaT DiD NoT BeLoNg iN ThE PaSt.
SoMeThiNg ThAt KePt MeDdLiNg WiTh EvErYtHiNg.
A WeApOn oF PoWer GrEaTeR ThaN tHe FuRnAcE Of ThE StArS.
An EmISsArY oF DeAtH, HiDdEn iN PlaIn SiGht.
BuT WhY? WhY DoEs DeAtH ItSeLf PrOtEcT tHe AcCuSeD?
We ToOk ToO LoNg. We AsSuMeD tHiS WoRlD wAs InAcTivE.
It WaS NoT.
The BiOmASs oF ThoUSaNdS CaNnoT NoT CoMpeTe WiTh A pLaNeTaRy DeFeNcE NeTwOrK iN PoSeSsiOn Of OrBiTaL IoN CaNnOns...
ThE UnIoN MuSt KnOw.
ThEy WiLl NoT Be PleAseD wItH OuR fAiLuRe.
(Upd) List of shortcuts + 100 members!!!Hi everyone!
FireAlpaca 1.0.35 is out Remember to download the newest version if you haven´t already! Also, check out the nifty Japanese site with lots of cute Alpaca illustrations: http://firealpaca.com/ (if it tries to go back to other language, just go to the top bar and choose the little Japan flag).
We´re past 100 members! You people rock! It´s awesome that this little group keeps expanding. Share the love! ^o^)/
List of shortcut hotkeys Everythingfirealpaca on tumblr compiled a list of shortcuts for FireAlpaca that I´m sure everyone will find really useful, so I´m posting it here:
Note: This is a list of Mac shortcuts, please see the reference below. Also, some commands like Quit will not work on PC, so I´ve added the PC one.
"(Cmmd is Ctrl, Delete is Backspace, and Option is Alt on PC):
Cmmd+Option+drag = resize brush
Shift = draw
Galactic Empire under new managementWow. This I didn't see coming: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-20146942
$4 Billion? (£2.5 Billion, in real money)
Not as much as Pixar.....but then, if Lucasfilm were a house, JarJar would be the devaluing, sh*t-stained carpet a new owner would have to deal with.
And, no, I'm not going to denounce it. Disney buying Lucasfilm? That has potential, and I'm not talking Star Wars, here.
If I've read the press release on the Disney corporate website correctly, they now own EVERYTHING – including Lucasarts, which is a division of Lucasfilm.
Monkey Island/Day of the Tentacle/Sam & Max + Disney? That could be amazing!
As for the (inevitable) Star Wars 7, I'm really hoping they use the Thrawn Trilogy. In fact, I'm betting they do. Let's face it; Disney haven't ever had an original idea, that's why they keep buying up other people's work, and if they're hoping to have something released by 2015 they'll have no choice but to dive into existing material.
Of course, if they produce a Satur
Commissions and suchCOMMISSIONS
If you're interested in a commission just send me a note and we'll talk about what it is you'd want done!
Before you do that, however, I'd appreciate it if you took the time to read through this post, and any update posts (to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings).
I do reserve the right to turn down a commission if it is something that I do not feel suits me and my style of art, or if for some other reason I do not feel comfortable with the request.
Average prices (US. Dollars):
Sketch - $6 link
Line art - $12 link
Flat colour - $16 link
Sci-Fi Environment Design TechniquesHey guys, I finally managed to upload my first Gumroad tutorial!
It's a 2h11min video explaining a bunch of techniques I use for Sci-Fi speed- or matte painting, such as in these images (the last one is from the video).
Hope you find some stuff useful!
You can now also get my Custom Brush panel for Photoshop!
Me? Cracked? Nnnnaaaahhhhh.*Stops screaming just long enough to say..... :3 "Heh. Yer welcome," then continues running around naked and screaming random nonsense* YOU CANNOT RUST A BANANA, THEY SAID! WELL I HAPPEN TO KNOW OTHERWISE! ALL IT REQUIRES IS A FEW JUMPING JACKS, A FLUTE, AND WHATEVER LATE ALIMONY PAYMENTS YOU OWE YOUR EX WIFE! (Yes, I know she is obnoxious but it is necessary to RUST THE BANANA!) UPON COMPLETION OF THE CEREMONIAL NAKED RUSTING DANCE....... *dramatic pause* BEHOLD! A Jack Russel Terrier......... *contemplative pause* HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!? I DON'T OATMEAL THIS! THIS MAKES NO BANANA! I anticipate BANANA! YOU BASTARDS! *Stares furiously at the floor for approximately three minutes and fifteen seconds* Wait.... perhaps because I do not in fact have an ex wife to whom I owe alimony..... this means....... I CANNOT RUST THE BANANA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. *starts hurling globs of Nutella at people* I WILL PUNISH YOU ALL.
Bystanders: Oooh! Nutella! Not really much of a punishment. *yum*
This is just stunninghttp://workshop.chromeexperiments.com/stars/
Here's something I just found that I felt I had share it, if you have Google Chrome then you can check this out.
Commissions info (EUR/USD)Commission Status:
Fullbody, full colour & shading:
Price: � 16 (22 USD) - �20 (27USD) per character depending on complexity
(Typo: Complex design = 20 EUR (27 USD), not 22)
Big wings: + 4 EUR / 5 USD
Couples/groups: price x number of characters (Max. 2!)
- For backgrounds or excessive amounts of detail, contact me WITH references and/or ideas.
(Don't go "how much for a background?" It depends on what you want and how detailed you want it)
- Other creatures (Griffons, dragons, deer, etc...) are the same price as ponies
- Price for lineart only = 1/2 full colour price
How do I commission?
Just send me a note on DA with a description of what you'd like to commission. If I accept and we agree on a price, I'll send you my paypal adress for payment.
Do you have a free slot?
I don't work w