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Romantically Apocalyptic by frau-chan

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Submitted on
January 21, 2012
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SNIPPY: FLYING DAY

Sat Jan 21, 2012, 11:00 AM



ENTRY 3647:

November something something.
I've got to come up with a better system for telling what day it is. Maybe I could scrawl numbers on the back of my shoe? Nah, that sounds like something silly that Pilot would do.

I'm currently carrying a calendar that says 2012 on it, but I am pretty sure that these days aren't correct anyway to our year and Captain keeps scribbling things in the margins whenever I get distracted enough for the calendar to be snatched out of my hands. I found the calendar more or less intact and it's kinda impressive that it lasted from way back in 2012. It must have held some sort of personal importance to it's owner to seal it away in a plastic container with words "the Mayans were wrong, trust no-one!"

I've been trying to keep track of how old I am, but I keep forgetting to check off every day in the calendar or maybe captain is messing off with me by erasing my checkmarks.
Something tells me I shouldn't be telling Captain about my birthday anyway. I would probably get some kind of ridiculous celebration with radioactive cake in my face. It took forever to clean off the last radioactive cake that was thrown in my face.

One day I found the calendar mutilated with writing all over it. Every day had some kind of nonsense inscribed on it with a black pen.
There is also a series of scribbles in red describing holidays of Captania.
Today's entry said: "FLYING DAY".
Yesterday it was "REMEMBERANCES OF THE PAST DAY"
That was definitely memorable.  

Anyhow, smaller series of scribes beneath today's date told me that "TODAY ALL SUBJECTS OF CAPTANIA MUST ATTEMPT TO FLY TO PLEASE CAPTAIN'S SENSUS."

I wondered whether captain would just tell me to jump around and flap my arms or push me off a chair, since I highly doubted that Pilot's skills in actually making a human fly.

Oh, how wrong I was!

It looks like pilot had some sort of breakthrough with the "FLYING MACHINE MISSION" mission.

The breakthrough consisted of a plastic lawn chair with a whole assortment of balloons tied to it.

Where did Pilot get so many red balloons? I will never know.
Although, now that I think about it, there's probably a balloon factory round these parts somewhere with it's doors wide open for such shenanigans.

The whole terrifying contraption was discovered by captain with much joy and celebration on a nearby beach.
It looks like Pilot just left it in a hurry, but there was a piece of paper left on the chair with "USE INSTRUCTIONS" so captain " NOMINATED" me to "BE PART OF THE SOLUTION".

I tried to refuse to be part of the solution, but Captain was adamant about "CONDUCTING THE TEST ON TIME", that "THIS MISSION IS OF INFINITE IMPORTANCE TO THE UNIVERSE", and that "THE AUDIENCE IS WATCHING AND YOU CANNOT STOP THE PLAY" and that "INSUBORDINATION AND REFUSAL WILL NOT BE TOLERATED".

Then a mug full of mysterious boiling substances was used to threaten me into submission.

Damn you Pilot. Where are you hiding? This is all part of your plan to get rid of me, isn't it? You should be the one to test your own bloody flying lawn chair.

Captain then threatened me with "PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE" and proceeded to make a series of really annoying sounds like "WHOP WHOP WHOP WHOP WHOP", until I have submitted to "TESTING THE FLYING MACHINE".
I figured out I could just trick Captain and jump off the chair as soon as the supporting cables were released.
As soon as I sat on the seat, I could not escape. I think Captain smeared the seat with super-glue.

As the ground drew away from me I wondered why do I go along with this insanity.
Yet this is still somehow better than being alone. I can't stand being alone for too long, too many dark memories from my past start to waltz in my thoughts. Is this why I keep myself subject to Captain's plots? To run away from my past?
Everything looks so small from up here....
My worries floating away....

I am not sure what I worried about. I'm not falling off the chair, achieving some lift and slowly drifting away.
There can't be another PHOTOSHOP in the sky, surely?

...This is actually quite peaceful. No Captain making whoop-ing noises at me. Maybe I'll fly away, far away from the city, find some non-insane survivors...
So calm...
So serene...
The fluttering snow, glittering in the sunlight.
So beautiful...

Wait what is that in the water? A dark moving shape? A giant fish?
That can't be right... the corporations were dumping toxic wastes in here for years. I remember reports about most large fish becoming extinct.

WHAT IS THAT? OH GOD. IS THAT A WHALE? OR A MEGALADON?!?!

OH GOD OH GOD AHHHHH...

(transmission interrupted)

Add a Comment:
 
:iconfellcrusader:
fellcrusader Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww. Have a nice trip Snippy! I kill that whale...
Reply
:iconquantum-force:
quantum-force Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2012  Student General Artist
A giant fish? Well, just think that as PHOTOSHOP~
Reply
:iconbichohumano:
BichoHumano Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012  Hobbyist
¿Quieres leer una traduccion al español? Sigue EL ENLACE

Want to read an Spanish translation? FollowTHE LINK
Reply
:iconabasur:
Abasur Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2012
I imagine him sounding just like Grif from Red vs Blue, especially in his panicky moments.
Reply
:iconjikuro:
Jikuro Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
XD Oh Snippy, you just need to release all that obnoxious sanity, and let the waves of pure oblivious bliss wash over you.

Captain then threatened me with "PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE" and proceeded to make a series of really annoying sounds like "WHOP WHOP WHOP WHOP WHOP", until I have submitted to "TESTING THE FLYING MACHINE".
Best Psychological warfare.
Ever. xD
Reply
:iconarcadianengineering:
ArcadianEngineering Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012
This got depressing all of a sudden. Trying to keep track of how old he is? Just how long has it been since the world ended? I thought months, but it's beginning to seem more like years. Years of Captain and Pilot's stereo insanity... Happy upcoming birthday, you poor brave man.
Reply
:iconnorimori:
NoriMori Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2012
There's a reason Snippy has so many fans... He's The Woobie. :P

What's "stereo insanity"? Do you mean like...in the sense of coming from two directions? XD Cuz if so that's actually brilliant. :P
Reply
:iconarcadianengineering:
ArcadianEngineering Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2012
Yes, that's what I meant, but I can't claim brilliance because I'm pretty sure I stole the phrase from a web comic called The Order of the Stick. And thus admiration is replaced with the realisation that I am in fact a complete and utter nerd. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.
Reply
:iconnorimori:
NoriMori Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2012
Hmm, that's odd, I've read OotS and I don't remember that phrase.

"And thus admiration is replaced with the realisation that I am in fact a complete and utter nerd."

You make that sound like it's a bad thing! Replaced with? You mean augmented by! I love nerds! I'm a nerd! Nerds will rule the world some day! :D
Reply
:iconarcadianengineering:
ArcadianEngineering Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2012
I looked up the strip, #727; "stereo goofiness" is used of Elan and his dad discussing "clown-jugglers, who juggle tiny clowns". So, it's a good thing you're cool with nerdiness, because I seem to be just spouting it today.
"Nerds will rule the world some day" - I look forward to that day. Vive la revolution; down with those tiresome normal people!
Reply
:iconnorimori:
NoriMori Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012
I find most of the cool people these days are nerds. You just can't always tell, because they're seemingly "normal". :P For instance, you didn't realize I was a nerd until I told you, and I didn't realize you were a nerd until you told me. So there are probably more nerds than we both think, but we just don't know because we think they're normal people! XD
Reply
:iconarcadianengineering:
ArcadianEngineering Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012
We need some kind of acid test. Start singing "Still Alive" in public and see who joins in?
Reply
:iconnorimori:
NoriMori Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
But there are so many different kinds of nerds, even someone who hasn't played Portal could be a nerd, blasphemic as that sounds... We need to create a Nerd IQ test and whoever scores above a certain number is a nerd. :P It would have Portal, Half-Life series, The Big Bang Theory, Doctor Who, XKCD, Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Star Trek, Star Wards, and all kinds of other things! XD
Reply
:iconsleepingguru13:
SleepingGuru13 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012
poor snippy and cunning pilot!
Reply
:iconnorimori:
NoriMori Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012
This is AWESOME! I laughed so hard!
Reply
:icondrogmir:
Drogmir Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012
Don't worry Snippy it's been tested for approval by Pilot!

You're in safe hands!
Reply
:iconnorimori:
NoriMori Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2012
Yeah, it won Pilot's approval by being successful in making Snippy whale bait! XD All according to plan... :P
Reply
:iconunyilkiller:
UnyilKiller Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
oh snippy poor you....
Reply
:iconblahjerry:
blahjerry Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
._.
Reply
:iconponyta:
Ponyta Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
OHMAHGAWD! I discovered your comic about 2 weeks ago and I read all pages in a day or two. I've only JUST found out about these brilliantly written journals!

Thank you so much for making these! :)
Reply
:iconnorimori:
NoriMori Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012
I am in the same boat and feel the same way. ;)
Reply
:iconponyta:
Ponyta Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:D
Reply
:iconhyaray:
HyaRay Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Hobbyist
I love Captain. So much.
Reply
:iconhokoritamashi:
HokoriTamashi Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Student General Artist
LOL

when I first watched you I just thought you were some bussy artiest who wouldn't talk.

I know better now XD
Reply
:iconleebrace:
LeeBrace Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012
psychological warfare:
1. denying that you have the keys, discovering that you do, hiding them under the youngest kid's pillow
2. cutting someone's sandwich in half again while they're not looking and saying they did it without thinking, because they'd have to be insane to think you cut thier sandwich
3. getting out of the shower, putting someone else's towel under the shower, hanging it back up and then denying that you used the towel - you technically didn't
4. changing someone's desktop background to a frightening bear, so when they close thier programs, they freak
Reply
:iconalexiuss:
alexiuss Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012
EXELLENT ADVICES
Reply
:iconleebrace:
LeeBrace Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012
Why thankyou.
Reply
:iconvexenesis:
vexenesis Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
... I am officially going to start using Captain's tactic of "psychological warfare" on my teammates now. If a simple "WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP"ing can cause Snippy to board such a device against his will, surely the same thing will make a group of arrogant teenage males submit to even my stupidest of demands! >:D

Thanks for writing such awesomeness, Alexiss. I truly adore your characters and storyline. :)
Reply
:iconnaust187:
Naust187 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012
:iconzeecaptainplz: :iconsaysplz: Hmmmm.......That did not go as I expected! SNIPPY, RETURN! ........ Snippy?
Reply
:iconholosnipe:
HoloSnipe Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Snippy, RETURN! :iconpokeballplz:
Reply
:iconnaust187:
Naust187 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012
:iconzeecaptainplz: :iconsaysplz: BRILLIANT!

Seriously, this made my day!
Reply
:iconholosnipe:
HoloSnipe Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Awesome!
Reply
:icondyume-kun:
dyume-kun Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012
I love the fact that you make this journals now :iconloveloveplz:
Reply
:iconshiningpirate:
ShiningPirate Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
the cup is not empty.
I REPEAT, THE CUP IS NOT EMPTY.
ABORT MISSION.
Reply
:iconoriannavadelle:
oriannavadelle Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
But if pilots the one with the balloons, shouldn't they be green?
Reply
:iconjikuro:
Jikuro Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I think the balloons are also a representation of the... red... menace... thing after captain.
Not sure though. ^^;
Reply
:iconbonabopn:
Bonabopn Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012
Try to maneuver your chair away from the whale! When you are over safe ground, or if you get too high, start popping the balloons!
Reply
:iconhoney-bea:
Honey-Bea Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Student General Artist
...Thats exactly how I thought that was going down dialouge wise. XD
Reply
:iconaqualar:
AquaLar Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012
Snippppyyyy noooooo =p sorry coulnt resist XD okay nice comic.
Reply
:iconfroggy009:
Froggy009 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012
Are you sure it just wasn't a giant fish Jonah?
Reply
:icontitan-kaose:
titan-kaose Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
lol awsome he was eaten by a whale lol
:d
Reply
:iconedgedweapon:
EdgedWeapon Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Student Artist
Silly megalodon. Humans in post-apocolyptia have no meat on them!
Reply
:iconsilverinewolf:
silverinewolf Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012
lol, i'd love to have a minion like snippy XD
Reply
:iconur-a-baka95:
ur-a-baka95 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Awwww... poor Snippy.
:iconzeecaptainplz::iconsaysplz:Where did that whale come from??
Reply
:iconzakariaseatworld:
ZakariasEatWorld Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012
I FUCKING LOVE SNIPPY
Reply
:iconcatsterw:
Catsterw Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012
Live snippy, live!
Reply
:iconczarinathehedeghog:
czarinathehedeghog Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
oh god why!
Reply
:iconbon-j:
Bon-J Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I was so happy because 364 is my favourite number <xD
I love this, and I love the comic so much ~ Oh Pilot you sneaky bastard...
Reply
:iconet8000:
ET8000 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Student General Artist
3:
Reply
:iconraemanzu:
raemanzu Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I just had a really ominous thought. What if this series of Snippy Journals is like... summarizing his life for us because he's going to be "accidentally vaporized" by Zee Captain?!!? D8 NOOOOOOOOOOO....

Or eaten by a whale.

Except he can't have been eaten by a whale if this happened before Cancer ate him. Hrm.

Don't die, Snippy!! You are part of the solution!! WE CANNOT SOLVE THE SOLUTION WITHOUT YOU!!
Reply
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